God’s Line

The concept of “boundary” seems weak in our “feeling-oriented” traditional culture. However, the idea of setting boundaries was originally sourced from the Bible, and Jesus is our role model for setting a healthy boundary. Prioritize God, then we can make good judgments and define the appropriate boundaries with others. With a godly boundary, we can freely define our own identities, beliefs, thoughts, values, and privileges, reinforce our boundaries without fear and guilt, and give ourselves and others an opportunity to say “no”.  Because “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” – II Timothy 1:7. Setting boundaries is not to passively isolate from others, but to proactively clarify our own responsibilities.  I take full responsibility for my own life calmly and joyfully.  Be brave to stop any negative feelings, emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. Also, bear the consequences of having the boundaries.  I am responsible “to”, but not “for” others. I do not make decisions for others, or doing what others should do.

God also sets specific rules in our workplace.  When God sent Adam to work with Eve, He said, “You can’t do whatever you want. Some things you can do, some things you can’t do.”  Many verses in the Bible also remind us that we must keep our promises, not use deceitful scales. We shall not bribe nor be greedy. We all need to define a healthy boundary in a godly way. We have the right to ask others to respect our standards, beliefs, and values, and be courageous enough to say no to others. “Personal boundary” is also the main key issue in our relationships. Every kind of relationship needs boundaries, including relationships between parents and children, between couples and partners, and between friends and colleagues. A poor-defined boundary will easily result in tangled conflicts.  A healthy emotional boundary needs a clear intrinsic definition – knowing how you feel, be responsible “for” yourself, and be responsible “to” others. Over-sensitivity may indicate unclear and weak emotional boundaries. I have been overly sensitive since I was a child, I used to care too much about the views and comments from my parents and friends, and often influenced by others’ emotions, suggestions, and behaviors. I don’t know how to establish healthy emotional boundaries to protect myself and cultivate rational judgment. Therefore, I was a low-self esteem, sensitive, and unhappy kid all the time. Healthy emotional boundaries make us not to overreact to others’ comments, not feeling bad about rejecting others’ negative emotions and problems, and also help limit our overstep our responsibility or over-protecting others.

We all need to define healthy boundaries in a godly way. We have the right to ask others to respect our standards, beliefs, and values, and be courageous enough to say no to others. Boundaries are about execution and practice rather than just words. Only God ’s mercy can maintain healthy boundaries and bring forth change and help. Give priority to our life responsibilities, focus on our boundaries, and strive to build healthy, mutually beneficial and honorable relationships.  Only persist in godly boundaries that have eternal values, we then deserve others’ respect and can respect others. 

“And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.”” – ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:16-17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬